Tuesday, May 22, 2012

i'm taking back everything i've ever said


*DISCLAIMER: this post is really long and has no pics (gross) but it's something that was weighing on my mind and I just knew I had to get it out there!*


If you've been with me for a while then you know that I graduated with a Masters in Teaching.
You will also know that after teaching High School for a year, I decided that I had no interest in education whatsoever.
Huge bummer when that's your degree.
womp womp.

Now don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't have respect for teachers.  If anything, after the past year I have an ENORMOUS amount of respect for teachers.
A-for the obvious, they are severely underpaid for what they do.
B- because they have an impact on so many lives (positive or negative, unfortunately)
C- they lay the groundwork for the youth of today to be successful
Um, that's a lot to put on one persons shoulders.

So ya'll are probably wondering why I thought I never wanted to teach.  
There were several reasons. 
Some of my students we're unacceptably disrespectful.
We're talking sexual harassment people.
That definitely killed my spirits. I had been teaching for all of 2 months.  I was convinced that this was what being a teacher was like. 
And I HATED it.
It was extra difficult to deal with because this was a student I had stood up for in the past.  
He was a junior, star on the baseball team (already being looked at by scouts), with an 8th grade reading level.
Ya'll...that's not okay.
I have a special place in my heart for students who aren't getting the attention they need at school or home.  
When I was in High School I was painfully shy, who would've thought! so shy that I never talked in class. 
I did my work, sat in the back, and prayed the teacher wouldn't call on me.
I was so insecure that I just knew if I answered a question wrong the entire class would deem me an idiot and throw things at me and I'd die.
Well obviously that never happened and I've overcome my fear of speaking in class.
(*side note* I teach oral communications and drama...isn't it ironic, dontcha think)
So I tried to give this student extra help because while baseball is awesome, if you can't read your own stats, you're only embarrassing yourself.
Long story short he said and did some very inappropriate things in my classroom leading him to be transferred to another classroom and (because of a totally different issue) eventually suspended school.

Ya'll I was SO torn up over this.
I thought this was my fault, I had just ruined this 17 year olds future.
I was second guessing if I did the right thing by telling the principal.
Well of course I did the right thing, and come to find out this was not his first offense
.
One day, his father showed up in the middle of one of my classes CRYING telling me "that is not the son I raised."
What do you say to a grown man, stranger, crying in your face?
It was THE WORST.
Probably one of the hardest things I've dealt with in the past few years.

My other students and mentor teacher rallyed around me and made me feel better about the situation.
That helped.
But in the back of my mind I just kept saying, 'I can't do this. I'm not cut out to do this.'

Fast forward to this year.
I've spent the past 12 months searching for jobs in anything other than education.

I had a social media job that I loved and got great experience from.
Since moving to Houston, I've applied to 56 social media/ marketing/pr jobs.
56.

I've had several interviews and some second interviews, but as ya'll know this girl is still "FUNemployed".

Over the past few weeks I've been doing some serious soul searching.
I've been praying and asking the Lord to lead me where he wants me to be in life.
I've decided to put it in his hands.

I believe that the Lord can talk to us and sends us messages through random things that happen everyday.

I was running errands the other day when a commercial came on the radio.
I listen to satellite radio so there are only a few commercials, if any at all, on any of the stations.
Obviously someone had pushed the wrong button on something (I worked for a radio station random, it's super common) and a commercial came on and all it said was "Want to make a difference? Be a Teacher" before it was cut off.
My mouth literally dropped open.

Um, GOD?
You talkin to me?

So, just to see, I began searching for open teaching positions.
I'm qualified to teach speech and drama.
It's not a super common subject area, so I was skeptical that there would be any open positions.
I've found 9.
NINE 
That's a lot for a subject area as specific as mine.

Also, because there's nothing else to do at 9am, I watch Live With Kelly.
Last week was Teacher Appreciation Week and they showed different segments with teachers who do remarkable things in the lives of their students.
It really inspired me.
He works in mysterious ways ya'll.

So, here I am, and my Mother will probably get to say 'told you so' like I know she enjoys doing, but I'm applying for teaching jobs in Houston.
And I'm actually excited!

I know I have the potential to be a great teacher and make a difference in other peoples lives.  I want to be the teacher that I never had and connect with all of my students. 

So look out parents of Houston, TX your kids just might have me as a role model.
You've been warned!
:)

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6 comments:

thecoffeehouse said...

so cool, Sarah! and pictures or no pictures, I agree, some things just need to be said. Love when He just flat out tells ya what to do. ;) you will be an amazing teacher and good luck with the interview process!

Holly said...

You are going to be an amazing teacher!! God really works amazingly, doesn't He?! :)

Holly said...

You are going to be an amazing teacher!! God really works amazingly, doesn't He?! :)

Kristen Danielle said...

I enjoyed reading this!! I'm a Houston lady myself, also in the teaching field! Keep us updated on what happens with the job search... I'd love to know if you end up teaching in my district! :)

Lauren said...

Awesome! Being a teacher def. has it's ups and downs. I hope your 2nd time around is wonderfully fulfilling! :)

Kaity said...

The times when God's plan is utterly mysterious are probably the most confusing and miserable times for me. But in hindsight, His timing never ceases to amaze me. I'm so glad He has complete control over my life's direction because who knows where I would be right now if my life was 100% left up to me!

Just wanted to say that I was encourage by this post and I'm very glad to have found a new blog to follow! :)