Thursday, November 15, 2012

an open letter to family around the holidays...

While you're reading this John and I are skipping town for an extra long Thanksgiving vacay.
This will be the first major holiday spent away from Momma bear and if she wasn't taking it so well, I'd probably cry to John and tell him I'll see him in a week because I need my Momma.
But, alas, my mother is one strong lady and told me it's only fair that I spend Thanksgiving with Johns fam this year because he spent it with mine last year.
Fairness? In a relationship? PSHHH... 
But like always I guess she's right.
ANYWHO... let me get to the point.
The holiday season.
The season where bellies get full, families are brought together, and certain girls get a little extra bling on their left ring finger.
I don't know what it is about the holiday season that makes everyones heart warm, but I've had about 10 Facebook friends get engaged in the past two weeks and it's not even turkey day yet.
So... before anyone asks let me go ahead and get it alllll out there.
Dear family (Johns and mine),
Please for the sake of my sanity, don't ask
"So when is John going to propose?!"
Um next Tuesday at 3:00, I DON'T KNOW!
That's the whole point of a proposal.
It's a surprise.
It's on his terms.
It's the one little piece of the wedding puzzle that he gets total control over and I'm going to let him have it.
This is all I have to say... Yes, I know that we've dated for 4 years. Yes, I know that there are people who've met a year ago that are getting married. Yes, I see everyone around me getting engaged and a part of me has a tinge of jealousy...then you know what? 
I get over it!
I'm happy, we're happy, and I wouldn't change anything to jeopardize that.  I'm not pressuring John into marrying me because who wants to look back on their wedding day and say "see, we wouldn't be here if I didn't make you propose!"
Ultimatums ultimately lead to blame and resentment and thats the absolute last thing I want lingering around on my special day. 
I mean come on people, we're buying a house together and I think that spells out commitment more than a ring ever could.
So in closing, no, I don't know when he's going to propose.
Will he ever propose? 
He better Sure, someday when we're both ready because this girls got expensive tastes and he knows it :)
We're happy where we are in our lives.
Just me, him, and the dog.
And I wouldn't change a thing!


Shug in Boots {Beth} said...

Good for you! Seriously, people never know when to zip it. I was the exact same way, we had a very, very vague discussion about how I wanted something traditional in a ring, nothing with a bunch of stones, and that was it. I had ZERO desire to be like so many girls and nag him to death about it. Who wants a husband they had to club over the head?!?
Same thing with "when are y'all gonna have some babies?" Do people not think that this is a sensitive {and sometimes painful} topic? Not to mention, NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS!! You said it nicely. :)

Holly said...

What a great letter :) I think more girls need to think like you. (for the record, I think this way when I'm dating someone...who wants to be pressured to propose?!)

Ashley said...

Love this post! So many good points! :)