Bless your heart, sister! I would hate the world if I just lost 70 pounds and then got pregnant...again... not even a year after having a baby. Oh well, bring on the twitpics of bacon and ice cream.
Dear Matthew McConaughey,
For the love of God, eat something! You are terrifying to look at. You aren't a great actor. Please stop starving yourself for this role, and go back to making mediocre romantic comedies.
Dear Melissa Rycroft,
I don't watch Dancing with the Stars, but when I saw you on Good Morning America, I thought it was so strange that you were so skinny and yet still had a little muffin top...until I realized your "muffin top" was in fact your protruding hip bones. Well played, girlfriend, well played.
Dear Lindsay Lohan,
You, my dear, are a train wreck. Head hung low, Lindsay Lohan stumbles over to her 'days without arrest' board, wipes board with a dirty hand, writes '1', sighs heavily.