Thursday, December 13, 2012

kids say the darndest things

I've been sitting here all day putting off writing this post.
Just like I've been putting off FOR 3 MONTHS cleaning this house, until Tuesday when I just threw my hands in the air waved them like i just didn't care and got to business scrubbing every dog hair outta this mug. 
And no, the 3 months comment was not an exaggeration.
I'm a disgusting human being... and Cash's dog hair... I can't even...

But I'm here writing you because I actually have something to say!
This week marks a change.
A "Sarah actually got off her butt and did something important" change.
This week I started molding young minds.

I was a little nervous Monday morning before my first day. But then I thought to myself, "Self, you've taught High School for a year.  You've got this. Piece of cake."

If High School is scary, Middle School is Al Qaeda. 
Eleven year-olds who don't understand whats happening to their bodies but they just know they want to touch the person next to them.
Boys who throw girls backpacks across the room because they dont like them.
Girls who write notes folded into origami shapes about those boys who threw their backpack across the room because one day they'll be married to that boy and those origami notes would be perfectly pinteresting at their wedding.
 
These, my friends, are the most terrifying people on earth.
And while they are mind blowinly scary, they're also just mind blowing in general.

Here's some of the conversations over the past couple of days:

Student: Are those your real eyes?
Me: What do you mean 'are these my real eyes'?
Student: I mean are those like, contacts? I've never seen that color.
Me: No. They're just my eyes. They're green.

Student: Is that your real hair?
Me: What?
Student: Its just... so, soft looking.
Me: Yes.  This is my hair.

Student: How old are you?
Me: How old do you think I am?
Student: Uh... 21?
Me: In my heart yes, in reality no.
Student: What?

And the best of all:

Student: Are you married?
Me: No.
Student: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: Yes.
Student: Have you been together for a long time?
Me: Yes.
Student: Longer than a year?
Me: Yes.
Student (horrified): And you aren't married?!
Me: No.
Student: Wow ms. You should probably break up with him.  Sounds like he has commitment issues. 

These kids may be smarter than I give them credit for.

I've definitely learned that I am not cut out for the younger kids.
High Schoolers... sure, they're little balls of terror in themselves, but at least they get my jokes and laugh at them.

That's all I need. 

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3 comments:

The Pink Growl said...

That last one is hilarious!!

Southern Sass said...

In my heart yes, in reality no. - Haha that sounds like myself! Good luck with that, I don't think I could handle middle school kids.

Lauren said...

Good luck! I love the babies, I am terrified of that age! :)