Thursday, August 2, 2012

The Vegas Diaries: Pt. 2

You can catch up on pt. 1 by clicking here.

When I last left you, John and I had stumbled our way up to our room from the pool passing out and missing what could have been the best meal of our lives.
Finally, around 1:00 AM (as in like, after midnight) we wake up, wonder what in the WORLD happened, and check our phones finding upwards of 20 missed calls from our friends.
Oops.
I have to admit that I'm feeling less than stellar so I decide (because I'm the only girl on this trip) that John and the others have a 'guys night'. 
I get to go back to sleep, he gets to spend a night with the boys... everyone wins.
So around 1:30 the boys come pick John up for a night out on the town.
I definitely took this picture while I was laying down in the bed covered up in all of the blankets.

So, the boys head out and I roll over and pass out for another couple of hours.
I wake up at 5 ready for the day. You see, I've been sleeping since about 6pm the night before and that's just entirely too much sleep.
I text the John to make sure he's still alive.
Nothing.
I text the others to make sure they're still alive.
Nothing.

Well, great.
I've let these guys go out without abandon and get themselves into trouble.
So while I sit there wondering what dumpster their bodies could possibly be in, I watch the sunrise over the strip...which was AMAZING.
Around 6, John texts me, and our convo goes a little something like this:
6:28am
Me: Ya'll still being wild?
John: Yup. At bills gamblin hall next door. Lane is betting on our beer pong game. Yes they have beer pong.
Me:Jealous! Ya'll better win that.
John: We are reigning champs. 4 games.
Me: Duh. Want to get some breakfast?
John: Yup
Me: Stay there I'll come to you.

Mind you it's about 7am at this point. So I throw on a oversized t-shirt and some nike shorts because that's what I wear at 7am.
This is not what you wear in VEGAS at 7am.

I get off the elevator downstairs of our hotel and feel like I've walked into some weird twilight zone. Everyone is wearing last nights outfit and regrets and stumbling their way through the halls.
I, in all seriousness, have NO idea where I'm walking to so I just set out and head in the general direction I think this place would be.
On my journey (through a back alley and a sketch parking lot) I hear someone crying. No, not crying, SCREAM CRYING like they were being murdered. I look over, kind of afraid at what I might see, and see a chica, probably a few twenty years older than me slumped against a trash can in a bra top and tutu skirt holding her see thru platform heels.
Um, what?
She looks at me reaches out her hand (and ya'll I can't make this up) simply screams out "MY BROKEN DREAAAAAAMSSSSS"
Aaaand I keep walking.

I round the corner and just like taking a Sunday morning stroll around Central Park, there was a naked man (and I mean naked) just walking down the street.  He smiled politely at me and kept on walking.
Funny thing is, while this man was completely naked, I couldn't help but wonder why he wasn't even wearing shoes?

I keep walking. Wondering what universe I walked into this morning and how things just couldn't get any weirder.
They do.

I finally make it to my destination but there's a blacked out Range Rover blocking the driveway and I have to walk halfway out into the middle of the street to get around.
As I do, I see 3 HUGE body guards wearing all black and little wire ear pieces and I start wondering what celeb am I about to run into looking the worst I could possibly ever look. 
Two more body guards appear escorting some guy that I've never seen before (disappointed) to the Range. He looks at me and says "hey baby come on lets go".
Um, no thanks no-name. I'll pass.
Then I hear giggles coming from the car and see about 5 girls in it saying "come on baby! hehehehe"
Vomit.

So FINALLY I make it inside Bills, which is a sketch box of a casino.
I see one table of black jack with 3 guys around it...and the most obnoxious of all is John.
Typical.

This post is getting long, so I'll go ahead an do a part 3 tomorrow.
Stay tuned...we haven't met our drug dealer friend yet.
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5 comments:

Holly said...

Hahaha....is it bad that I am literally laughing out loud at the "MY BROKEENNNN DREEEAMMSSSS!"?! Hilarious.

And the naked man? Oh my....

Vegas....you are too much.

Dayna Leigh said...

Oh my gosh, you have me rolling! Can't wait to hear the rest!

bailey j said...

i am loving these stories!

Jessica @ Here(and)Now said...

You crack me up lady! I have never been to Vegas but now I want to go (with you) ASAP! This sounds like quite the trip
Can't wait to hear the next part!!
xx
Here&Now

Lauren said...

haha! My broken dreams. Bless her heart! :)

Can't wait for part 3