TRUE LIFE: I'm a nail biter
It's a disgusting habit, but for whatever reason when I get nervous or embarrassed my fingers travel straight up to my mouth.
So to prevent me from having the fingernails of a 9 year old boy, I have resorted to getting a manicure at least once every two weeks.
I went and got a manicure today.
It did not turn out okay.
So I go to the same place every time.
They know me by name when I walk in the door.
(It's like Cheers, but with acetone instead of alcohol)
I go to the same two people depending on who is available... Andy or Sandy.
And I'm just guessing here...but there's a high possibility that those are not their birth given names.
Any way I'm sitting in the chair getting my old manicure soaked off when the usual round of questions come up.
The conversation went a little like this:
Andy: You no work today?
Andy: You work tomorrow?
Andy: You go to school today?
Me: No school! I graduated
Andy: Ohhhh so you see your boyfriend this weekend?
Me: No. I don't have a boyfriend.
And then it happened.
Sandy, who was the one working on my hands dropped her little drilling tool which scared me. I looked over at her and she was looking at me like I had told them I just threw a bag of puppies over a bridge.
Andy (Laughing): Ohhh I see... a joke! You have boyfriend!
Me (wanting Andy to sit on the little drilling tool): Nope...sure don't.
Sandy: You must have boyfriend. Buy you nice car.
Me: I'm just fine. I don't need a boyfriend.
And then it happened again.
Sandy: You need a man. Everyone need boyfriend.
Me (oh super fake smile here): ..........
Sandy: I do your nail so you find a man.
Andy: So you don't have a boyfriend?
And then I started crying in the nail salon.
Just tear after tear rolling down my face.
Not because I am just so devastated about not having a boyfriend.
Believe me I'm not.
It had just been a long day and good Lord, quit hounding me people!
So as I'm trying to stop my tears...
Sandy: Ohh no. Weepy!
Me: It's okay. It's okay.
Sandy: FREE NAIL!!!
Me: Oh look, I'm all better now!!
Andy( Laughing): Yay! You find boyfriend this weekend!
So for all you single gals out there.
Go to a nail salon... when they ask about your boyfriend (because lets be honest, they always do) just start crying. For no reason. And maybe your mani/ pedi will be on the house!