Thursday, August 25, 2011

Crazy nail people

TRUE LIFE: I'm a nail biter

It's a disgusting habit, but for whatever reason when I get nervous or embarrassed my fingers travel straight up to my mouth.  
I'm. Gross.

So to prevent me from having the fingernails of a 9 year old boy, I have resorted to getting a manicure at least once every two weeks.
I went and got a manicure today.
It did not turn out okay.

So I go to the same place every time.
They know me by name when I walk in the door.
(It's like Cheers, but with acetone instead of alcohol)

I go to the same two people depending on who is available... Andy or Sandy.
And I'm just guessing here...but there's a high possibility that those are not their birth given names.
Just sayin.

Any way I'm sitting in the chair getting my old manicure soaked off when the usual round of questions come up.
The conversation went a little like this:

Andy: You no work today?
Me: Nope!
Andy: You work tomorrow?
Me: Noooope!
Andy: You go to school today?
Me: No school! I graduated
Andy: Ohhhh so you see your boyfriend this weekend?
Me: No. I don't have a boyfriend.

And then it happened.

Sandy, who was the one working on my hands dropped her little drilling tool which scared me.  I looked over at her and she was looking at me like I had told them I just threw a bag of puppies over a bridge.

Andy (Laughing): Ohhh I see... a joke! You have boyfriend!
Me (wanting Andy to sit on the little drilling tool): Nope...sure don't.  
Sandy: You must have boyfriend.  Buy you nice car.
Me: I'm just fine.  I don't need a boyfriend.

And then it happened again.

Sandy: You need a man.  Everyone need boyfriend.
Me (oh super fake smile here): ..........
Sandy: I do your nail so you find a man.
Andy: So you don't have a boyfriend?
Me: NO. 

And then I started crying in the nail salon.  
Just tear after tear rolling down my face.
Not because I am just so devastated about not having a boyfriend.  
Believe me I'm not.  
It had just been a long day and good Lord, quit hounding me people!

So as I'm trying to stop my tears...

Sandy: Ohh no.  Weepy!
Andy: Nooooooooo!
Me: It's okay. It's okay.

Sandy: FREE NAIL!!!
Me: Oh look, I'm all better now!!
Andy( Laughing): Yay! You find boyfriend this weekend!

So for all you single gals out there.
Go to a nail salon... when they ask about your boyfriend (because lets be honest, they always do) just start crying.  For no reason.  And maybe your mani/ pedi will be on the house!


Lauren said...

Oh, bless it! PTL you got your nails fo free though! :) said...

Haha, it is true. The nail people always wanting to know if what your relationship status is. Good idea to start crying no matter whether its a lie or not to try and get one free on the house;)

Cami said...

No joke, this almost made me pee my pants laughing so much..hahaha!!!

Woohoo for free nails :D

<3-Cami from First Day of My Life

Holly said...

Bahahahahahahahaha :-D Seriously can we be best friends? I love this. Even if you were sad during that makes for a hilarious story. The old ladies I used to go to hardly spoke English so it was hard to talk with them, but the girl and guy I go to now are awesome--when I got a pedi last week we watched a movie and she let me sit in the massage chair until it was over haha :) Silly nail salons....maybe they'll ask me about boyfriends and I'll cry this weekend, and get a free mani! WOO!

Jane said...

Oh my goodness! You poor thing. I'm so sorry they were hounding you. You are doing just fine without a silly man in your life.

Also, I love that clip you posted. It cracks me up every time.

A.Rose said...

Thats such a horrible experience. People just need to shut their mouths!

A.Rose said...

Thats such a horrible experience. People just need to shut their mouths!

Kayla said...

Are you serious?


Girl, I can totally relate.. people just think its the END of the freaking world when you say you don't have a boyfriend.

But I've never been given anything for it.. I'm doing something wrong.

Turtles and Pearls said...

Oh my gosh! It is just like the Anjelah Johnson skit! You don't need a boyfriend to buy you a car. Boyfriends are unfun and too much trouble. And at least you got your mani for free!